Money and uncertainty

We are in a time of unprecedented stress these days when it comes to the money conversation. Somehow, I think that I have been preparing for this conversation all of my life.

If the last three years have pointed out anything, both globally and locally, we are in movement of massive change, whether we like where it is going or not. Everything holds its opposite, so, as we discover what we don’t like about the situations we find ourselves in, we also get to uncover the good which may not have been obvious before.

I am in my late 70’s and I am still at my ‘work’ of helping women to heal their bodies, their minds and their souls… and to create their businesses as meaningful and sustainable activities to enrich their lives. Honestly, I think it all has to do with our sense of Self, our Self worth. What counts now more than ever is that we get a grip on who and what we are as women and human beings, taking ownership of capacities for good. The dogma of good, bad, right, wrong, fault and blame is not going to cut it; it is not going to cut out, get rid of our issues, or heal our perceived problems; education about whom and what we really are IS the only thing that can, that will. Are we willing? Are we curious enough to face into all of the lies that have told us we are not enough?

The only thing that will move us out of the global coma we find ourselves in is to start questioning how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place and to start choosing differently - not by history, not by habit, not by familiar strategy, not by victimization, but rather by shifting context for living from an allopathic/newtonian framework of doing to a quantum/energy state of being. Our world is demanding a rigour of commitment and consistency, and conviction to choose differently.

Modelling is our greatest teacher. Our family systems are, without doubt, the delivery mechanism for all that we pick up and learn, moving forward into our lives. The patterns we learn and which are mostly unconscious repeat though our experiences of home, school and work by expectation to compliance and compromise. And part of all that expectation is that we MUST default to ownership of ‘less than’ in order to fit in, in order to feel safe.

I have built 4 businesses since 1975. I started out life as a Registered Nurse, then was certified as a Cosmetician, establishing a retail business which I ran in partnership for 15 years and as a sole proprietor for another 7. The last 4 years of that endeavour saw me make a move into the USA from Canada. I had a dream and I went for it.

I had 18 years of experience in Canada when I took my business into Southern California. I had connections there and support. I had done my homework and I had a plan. I drove across the USA alone to arrive to a situation in Long Beach, California that I had not bargained for. I was not prepared for what was to unfold, disrupting my plan and my finances.

I was about to undertake the education of a life time. I always dreamed of achieving an MBA and wondered what it would be like to go to school for that. Well, I think I got it’s equivalence through the school of hard knocks!

It is easy for me to look back now and give myself deserved credit for how I handled the mess that unfolded. As stressed out and as anxious as I was, somehow, I found resourcefulness in the face of a very scary time. Back then, I just felt stupid and ashamed and lied to by the developer of the large shopping area I was moving into. As a result, my physical and emotional health ended up in the toilet.

While I could write a history of all the awful things that played out, at the end of the day, it is all irrelevant, so not worthy of my time. What is worthy of my time is to share the lessons that I have learned through all of it. So, this post is both prelude to and beginning of the lessons I have learned in my business/money making journey since I started working for myself, with or without employees, over more than 40 years ago. I believe that NOW is time to have a very different conversation, for all the ‘breadwinners’ out there, but especially for women who I believe are the ones to change the world.

The last 3 years of global lockdowns, isolation and separation have significantly impacted some people’s finances. People who have never worried before to any great degree about their financial well-being are now questioning what is going to happen with their lives and their bank accounts. I see that many are scared and angry and wondering how they are going to pay their bills. I see that many of them are feeling demoralized, asking the question inside of themselves, ‘Is this all there is? Is this what my life has come to, after I have worked so hard?’ You may identify with this.

Recently, my friend and mentor, Louise LeBrun, founder of the WEL-Systems® Insitute and creator of the WEL-Systems® body of knowledge emailed me an audio conversation we did together 13 years ago. It has to do with declaring bankruptcy, something I did in 2008 at the age of 62. After 4 years of carrying the burden of business decisions made in good faith with others (I call it my Long Beach, California MBA!) - but not so much in good faith with myself, the proverbial ‘shit’ hit the fan; there was no way to NOT feel, hear or see that life as I had known it was over.

Hind sight is easy. Over the years, I have been approached by so many women who worked hard, looked good, were smart, savvy, and took their responsibilities with others seriously. Somehow, they forgot themselves; they forgot that they matter. All of these conversations were had privately or in small groups of women in safe spaces. And sometimes, it took deep courage to show up and own the mess one found herself in. We’ll do anything to stave off and avoid the shame we feel. We avoid, defend and deny. And, in that, we commit to dying a slow death, inside, where we live.

I have been there, done that! Now, at age 77, My door on the public bankruptcy conversation has only been partially open for the last 15 years. Now, it is time to open it fully, and let the winds of change flow in, no longer circling the wagons of a much deeper conversation to be had with women who are feeling scared and alone in the uncertainty of the lives and their work. The rapid changes that are afoot, relative to money, cash flow, consumer debt and banking are leaving so many of us feeling depleted, deflated, depressed, anxious, worried and fearful, not to mention angry, outraged and grieving. We run a lot of internal mythologies to feed a cultural narrative that we have to have enough of X in order to stay on top of Y. And, if we don’t have enough of X, our credibility will take a deep dive and be lost to shame.

I work with women. Specifically, these women are coaches, healers and spiritual mentors who love what they are doing, get wonderful and meaningful results with their clients, yet do not invite sufficient cash flow to support a quality of life that will bring and sustain joy in their lives, because their own financial needs are unmet. It is not that they can’t sustain a flow; rather, I believe it is that they won’t allow it. There is something that happens inside of them that stops them in their tracks from thinking that they can have more, that they even have a right to that. So, they end up playing small around the edges of their businesses and their lives. I help women change that so that they reap the joy of empowering their own lives in the midst of chaos they can do nothing about, getting paid equitably for their results.

So, stay tuned for more, as new posts with my lessons learned begin. As well, in the near future I’ll introduce a new framework I call the Bravery Blueprint… a simplicity of group and individual ways to work with me, so that you can stop bankrupting the truth of who you really are and flourish forward. In the meantime, I invite you to listen to the following conversation with me and Louise LeBrun about my experience of declaring bankruptcy 15 years ago: Tapping In When You are Tapped Out.  Produced in 2010 - 13 years ago - I believe that the conversation is relevant for so many now, just as it was for me, when it was originally recorded. I trust that it will offer up hope and courage for you in full support of igniting and sustaining your resourcefulness and your resilience.

As well, I encourage you to read this blog post (Freedom Tuesday) which I wrote in in December of 2008 about my experience of declaring bankruptcy. If you are feeling demoralized about your own current financial situation now and wondering about your future, I think it worth your time to read it. Reach out to me by email with any questions that arise for you.