There is no Beast

Over the course of my life journey, I have held back on actively celebrating others in their awesome successes. And, in all honesty, I believe that I could have have created more impact for myself and others in that process. Where I have been most resistant is in celebrating myself, so is it any wonder that I have held back in celebrating others’ successes with more excitement? If I don’t allow myself to dance to my own music, how will I learn to support others in dancing to their’s?

On a recent group ZOOM call, I heard the facilitator say something to the effect of this: Think of a boss you worked so well for, yet never heard a word of praise from; now that you are Self employed, ARE you being that boss (to yourself)?

WOW, THAT was a wake up call! I have been self-employed since 1975 and have created 4 businesses since then until now. And, I can tell you that my personal celebrations have been very few and very far between. It was like a ‘modest’ good job; no more. So, I learned to  ‘modestly’ celebrate others, when, really, they deserved so much more. I realize now that if something was expected, I had no reason to celebrate its manifestation.

At age 75, I figured I had more to learn about personal value and Self-trust, so I decided to dive deep into a forensic dig of my own money issues and their origins. I have been at it for a year. I coach so many women who speak about living abundant lives, yet they will never speak about money; they avoid it all costs. Getting honest about money brings up deep feelings of shame and humiliation as well as the energy signatures of anger, sadness, fear and guilt which women have learned to defend and/or avoid at all costs. Since I consider these women to be aspects of my own consciousness, I knew that, until I came face to face with my own shadowed beliefs, values and attitudes about money, underpinned by my own perspectives of value and worth, I would short-change (pun intended) the women who were seeking my help.

I have built 4 businesses since 1975. I declared bankruptcy in 2008 at the age of 62, the result of business failure. So, I know a thing or two, especially about shame and embarrassment. Now, at age 76 years wise, I have way more clarity about family systems dynamics and the power of modelling to shape worlds. We can either shape our lives OR be shaped by them. It’s a choice. So, my choice to go deep into the dig has shown me a more expansive way of seeing into the culturally conditioned default that most of the world is unconsciously captive to. Now that I have more information, I make way better decisions. Way better decisions, way better life.

Money is the very thing we all say we need and want, yet the very thing we refuse to look at, so deep is our vulnerability to shame. I am very clear that not looking into our relationships with money will continue to shape our worlds in ways we say we don’t want. Honestly, now that I have taken the trip into and through the under belly of the beast, I have found that there is no beast. There is me and what I have discovered about my own particular family system which served as the expected (yet unexpressed) model for acceptance in the world. My discoveries have elicited and integrated waves and waves of energy and information, as I have chosen to breakthrough and relax into it all. I have a relationship with money which now knows reciprocity, gratitude and compassion as its cornerstones for living and engaging with others authentically.

On Monday morning, Sept. 26, I am launching a new Woman, Wisdom, and Worth mastermind group, of 8 weeks duration, for women only. I’ll be leading participants into a deep, expansive, connect-the-dots dig of a life-time. Honestly, if you want to feel your fear dissolve, this is the place. Abundance lives in celebration of those who are willing to take the dive.