52 years married

It had been a very hot and humid day right up until about 6 PM, then the rain started to fall heavily in sheets. I ran to the car from my Aunt’s apartment on Charlotte Street in Ottawa so my father could drive me to St. James Anglican Church in Hull, Quebec for a 7 PM ceremony.  I was about to get married.

Only 3 days before, I had been running the underground tunnels of the Ottawa Civic Hospital looking for my friend who was working the evening shift; I was in a bit of a panic. All of a sudden, I had wondered just what I was getting myself into. I did not find my friend at work; she had already finished her shift, so I headed over to her apartment. She heard me out, assuaged my ‘fears’ (was I doing the right thing?)  and calmed me down. Now, Saturday had arrived.

To get to the car through the pouring rain, I donned a cleaner’s plastic wrap over my headpiece and veil, my aunt’s over-sized trench coat over my dress and brown plastic loafers on my feet, ready to switch to my bridal shoes when I arrived inside the church.

Excited and nervous at the same time, I arrived at the church in Hull, Quebec (the location of which I believe was decommissioned years ago), and was ushered into the dank feeling basement to freshen up in privacy as I waited for the ceremony to start. Truth was, the freshening up in the thick of that humidity (everything felt so ‘clammy’) was not to be accomplished. So, I took a breath and climbed the stairs to the main floor of the church, now relieved of the plastic wrap from my veil, my aunt’s coat, and my plastic shoes and waited for the big moment.

In the  meantime, my husband-to-be had been working on laying down the roof on the house he had designed and was building for us - right up until 3 PM - on our wedding day. Then it was time to get ready for the ceremony. He also arrived to the church in the rain.

Following our vows, we headed for a celebration (47 people in total, including us) at the Talisman Inn on Carling Avenue. The next day, we headed out on a road trip through New York and Massachusetts.

Our wedding was 52 years ago today. What a ride we have shared in the process of living our lives. Our individual and co-creations have not always been easy - sometimes they have felt downright awful - but our deep care, respect for and support of each other have always prevailed.

We are not the same people who met on a blind date in May of 1967. Nor are we the same individuals who married on August 14, 1971.  However, our shared core value, I believe, has remained the same; that is to empower each other and to breathe life into the journey of a shared adventure. In that, we continue to discover respect, integrity and generosity of spirit for both Self and other in the process.

The home Richard designed and built in 1971 to support our unknown future has been the bedrock - the safe space - for raising a daughter and a son who have become independent and caring adults with their own partners AND for the healing of family, friends and clients who have sought to reclaim lives they often deemed as missing something. That something, reclaimed, was their own sense of internal security, their own sense of personal empowerment.

These 52 years of partnership have spawned creation in all of its forms... including all of the messes and all of the joys. I would not change a thing about my journey in the excellent company of Richard; it has brought me to where I stand today… an ancient presence, empowering life. It continues to be a remarkable ride!