If you think you're imagining it, then you've got it
It was 1994. I was in Ottawa, taking my first 4-day class to learn Cranial-Sacral Therapy. You see, 2 years before, I had been referred to another Cranial-Therapist (also an ex-nurse) by an MD who, having experienced excellent results himself, saw the great value in undertaking a different approach with my wellness concerns. After some really great outcomes, I decided that, (ex-nurse that i was), I would undertake to learn this approach so that I could understand how it works and ultimately help others.
So, there I was in a class of 55. I had four days to digest the learning. I was excited to learn yet felt unsure about getting it right. Would I ever grok what the trainer was sharing about how it ‘should’ feel under my hands when my hands were on a body? I just wanted to get it right. How many of you who are healers and coaches have been in that place?
So, 4 days: Thursday to Sunday.
On Thursday, I listened to the trainer for how he described what the cranial-sacral rhythm could feel like in a person’s body, under my hands. All I heard was the ‘should’, not could. And, was the ‘should’ his or was it mine?
So many advanced assistants in the room, each one telling me to do this, do that, go here, go there… all of them seeking to assist me to get the feeling present in the body under my hands… and to no avail. I told myself, maybe it will click in tomorrow.
Friday came and went; I was still not fulfilling my idea of ‘should’, expecting a break-through and not feeling it.
Saturday came and went; my frustration and disappointment had taken the lead. I had the knowledge, but not the feeling I believed I was supposed to be experiencing.
And, then, it was 3 PM on Sunday. The program was to be done at 5 PM.
My hands were on the feet of a participant lying on a therapy bed in front of me. Again, I was being directed, do this, do that, go here, go there. All I could feel was the resistance in my body around ‘not getting it right’. I looked up to my left and I saw a woman off to the side who had been observing me. She caught my eye and said, ‘Sheila, if you think you are imagining it, then you’ve got it!’.
Well, that simple directive was my breakthrough: the feeling was all in my hands and it grew exponentially bigger in that moment and has expanded itself ever since. That was 30 years ago.
The learning in that moment, for me? I had actually been feeling the cranial-Sacral pulses in the bodies under my hands everyday in that training - in so many ways other than what I had let myself know; my frameworks, unknown to me, had been built around what would be ‘right, acceptable, and allowed’. As such, those particular constructs filtered my hearing toward the familiar (safe and right), instead of toward satisfying my deep curiosity. The direction that, If I could imagine it, then I would have it, gave me the permission to let it all just BE.. my frameworks for self- discovery transformed in a nano-second.
Over the years, so many discoveries have emerged from that one moment. My gratitude runs deep for that woman’s willingness to witness and speak up. It has been the gift that keeps on giving.
If you’d like to know more about my work with BodySpirit Integration, CODE Model Coaching™, and educating to the paradigm shift through the WEL-Systems® Body of Knowledge, please email me at sheila@sheilawinterwallace.com. Thank you.