The Power of NO

A straight forward, simple, congruent NO is a full and complete statement. Nothing more to say.

Except that, in so many instances, women won’t let themselves declare it, much less own it without suffering the gift that keeps on giving: guilt. That feeling of guilt becomes so pervasive, that, of course, we would do anything to avoid feeling it. 

Looking back is easy. I let myself remember all of the messes which I could have aborted had I chosen to stop making it easy for others to meet their own externally-expected assumptions that would ensure their continued compliance to forces they felt trapped by, yet denied and defended at the same time. Ultimately, like a house of cards, everything would collapse; it would just be a matter of time. Year after year, it would amount to rinse and repeat. Same pattern, different content. Three steps forward, two back. Again and again. The guilt became shame, reinforced; It was to be avoided at all cost. And, I would keep on wondering WHY I kept on keeping on with same old, same old. 

I would keep on striving to measure up… as a student, a woman, a wife, a lover, a mother, a nurse, a friend, a colleague, a business owner. Perform, perform, perform. It was never enough; it never could be enough because ‘never enough’ was the fuel that kept it all going. Think about it…

Here is what I ultimately discovered for myself: It would only get easy for others to know differently for themselves when I realized that I could choose to exercise my right to say NO… and that ALL would… still… be OK. 

To arrive at this pain free place has taken my committed practice to consciously face into and transcend the globally entrenched, all pervasive, default thinking that we are not enough. When the dictum, we are enough actually becomes a global attitude, rather than a platitude, I believe that we’ll truly come to know our external world differently… an outside world of grace, clarity, kindness and compassion.

I have no clue if I’ll ever get to see a world like that come to fruition. However, I am willing to hold it as possible. The only control I have about that is celebrate ME choosing it for myself; this is where ME becoming more of my own field of potential lies. In truth, I believe that global change starts with each one of us, choosing to trust ourselves in a life-long journey of evolution of Self for its own sake. It all starts with owning your own NO, declared and exhaled into the magic of each moment.

In owning and declaring my NO, I discovered my YES! Now, the pain that I knew and felt as guilt no longer gets a free ride, having once assumed that it could saddle up, uninvited, a horse it had no claim to. My life is very different these days. I feel saturated in the joy of my own life.

Would you like to know more? Would you like to claim your NO, so that you can reclaim your YES? If so, I invite you to read about my new program experience, intended to breakthrough all the unknown roots and origins we unconsciously carry about Relationships, Money and What Doesn’t Work… as well as bringing to awareness all that these frameworks mean and do for us. A chance to change your mind and your world!

A monthly conversation, it runs on the third Friday afternoon of each month, for 6 months, starting in August of 2024 and ending in January of 2025. There are additional benefits to joining this small group of women which you can read about in the link. if you’d like to know more, please connect with me at sheila@sheilawinterwallace.com. 

Thank you,

Sheila