Letting Go of Delayed Dreams and the Courage to Let BE

It has been fourteen months since I last posted here. I wrote a response to an email today that featured most of what I have written below, now with a few alterations to ensure privacy. Once completed, I felt deeply that it could be a significant read for others. This has happened so often with my email responses; the writing is such that I often know, intuitively, that it could hold relevance for others, yet I have not allowed myself to BE the offer for that. So, in this moment, promising nothing, I am deciding to show up here a bit more often than I have… and if an email response is the driving force, so be it! No matter what, I will always ensure the privacy of those to whom I respond by email AND whose questions peak the responses from deep inside me which I did not know lived there, until I was asked the very question that prompted my own insights. So, thank you to all - past, present and future -for being my muse, so to speak.

Here is today’s post:

I read this quote from Abraham-Hicks this morning; it was the final statement in this quote that really got my attention in terms of how my world is want to unfold when I forget the I AM that I am. Only today, I felt the deepening saturation of my own I AM with a much deeper resonance than I have allowed my body to reveal to me before. And, with that revelation, a deeper reclamation of Self was immediately available to me.

These beings, that are acting out in those ways that you find so awful, are tormented and suffering in ways that you will not understand. Their horrible acts are extensions of that pain. We also have to say to you—no one who is not a vibrational match to that could be their victim.

The words in bold italics above caused me to remember that I, alone, am the sole creator of my personal universe; in owning the fullness of that, I can never feel victimized and/or invalidated. That I am not a vibrational match - in, through and by my own choosing to choose that - to the expected and hugely propagated propaganda to the contrary renders an even more deeply illuminated feeling of I AM home, I AM safe. I am actually finding it difficult to put into words the feeling and the visceral knowing that comes with this even deeper realization deep, down inside. Perhaps, it is suffice to own/declare that I can never be victim to the dictates of others; rather, I can only be victim to the self-sabotage of my own Self… my Higher Self that uniquely rides on the flow of my breath as the force I know as my intuition. That intuition is so deeply unique, so deeply personal, it matters not who questions it on the outside; what matters IS that I trust it and LIVE it, saturated in, through and by it, following its dynamic lead, inside. As such, my external projections are always, in all ways, my own creations. In that I empower (Ho’o Mana = to make energy) myself and my world… or not.

I feel so fortunate to really grok just how all of this works in support of living my life according to what I personally hold as essential, meaningful and possible. That others choose differently does not require that I isolate - a counter-intuitive strategy to ‘play’ safe in the absence of truly feeling that way, inside where I live. WOW, how well and how long have I run THAT as a strategy to hide (keep safe) even though I was not being chased by a hungry bear, by way of example? However, I have been masterful at creating the illusion of that as real and true in my world. The invisible traps are everywhere… not to capture the hungry bears (THAT is the illusion)… but, instead, to capture the prey that are our minds that are intended to feed the bears (the illusion).

Truth is, I value my mind… and honouring THAT for me is worth segregating it from all influences that seek to control my thought. So, sometimes, segregation as an awakened decision will look like isolation, when, in truth, there is no isolation about it. Segregation of my mind - the quantum force-field that it is - for me, means fostering clarity and congruence inside, where I live. AND, that can come only from trusting the godForce that I AM. Living in this world and really trusting that I am not of it, takes courage to stand alone, again and again and again… clearly deciding to viscerally trust my KNOWING that I am never alone nor could I ever be.

Maybe, now having reached the ripe old age of 76 years wise has invited me to really sit with the question of ‘What is the worst that could happen?’. I lived my life running away from that question. Really, the very worst that could happen is that I would betray my own Self, then beat myself up for it, continually with no reprieve. LOL, that is so old, enervating and worn down, why would I not choose something more life enhancing? Whoever taught me that THAT was life enhancing? Get a life, LOL! The truth is that the reprieve, the healing is never denied me in my life, unless I decide to forget, unknow, not know that breathing is critical to empowering my life, ‘cause the very essence that I AM rides on it. Again, it gets back to ME owning my sovereignty or not. Truly, being at cause for my life and its quality IS all on me. I get to choose again and again from amongst my projections with the question, in every moment, How is this (whatever ‘this’ is) working for me? It is that simple… and, indeed, it is that hard.

AND, as we have heard, biblically, Jesus say, ‘Forgive them lord, for they know not what they do’; for me, this is the same as saying, forgive our trespasses against ourSelves (every projection that I create outside of me is both about me and not about me). Quantum Processing (the autonomic facility of the Central Nervous System to inhale Oxygen into the body and exhale Carbon Dioxide from the body is that very act of forgiving ourselves (our reprieve and our healing), making ‘right’ with/in ourSelves, staying present to the vitality of the unique godForce that we each are. Quantum Processing is our built-in, systemic salvation where the godForce that I AM has full dominion in my life, my body and my creations, because I choose to remember; because I say so; I decide. When I forget, I forfeit my sovereignty to forces that may have already forgotten their own capacity to heal and empower themselves.

Does that make them wrong? I could make them wrong about it, yes indeed. I often have; I often do. And, while I am doing that, I know that I have - like it or not - made a decision in the moment to weaken my own unique forcefield to create the life that I say that I want. So, my decision IS to LIVE and let live, to segregate my mind from any ‘lock-down’ forces which, will ensure a mind lost unto itself. As recently as 3 weeks ago, I forgot mySelf and started to future pace my history of terror and shame into my future, an outcome of forgetting mySelf and what is important to me about being alive; proselytization through fear will do that and suck the life right out of you, if you let it. Who can honestly say that they did not grow up with some of that - if not more - as the background of their lives? Brilliantly, it was a no-brainer; it is what kept us fitting in, so we could feel safe. So, it was not until an appreciated kick in the pants via a life-giving conversation with a friend did I pick up, again, the very salvation which I had laid down in forgetting mySelf, my Soul. I remembered that I am all grown up, not a child anymore. I consciously took in a breath and exhaled.

I am not in the shoes, of a young mother, intending to nurture and nourish a child whose future, in the uncertainty of what is currently unfolding, invites hopelessness and despair. I really honour and respect that… and, like it or not, I think that dis-eased ‘invitation' lives with the present situation. The questions are these: Will I remember mySelf? Will you remember yourSelf?

Neither am I in the shoes of a grandmother with adored grandchildren being raised by more than competent parents, fearing what the future could possibly hold for their children. Again, the questions are these: Will I remember mySelf? Will you remember yourSelf?

Still, no matter what is going on in our lives, we get to map out our lives, one day at a time, breath to breath… and, still we get to keep on choosing what is best for our lives and the people we care about.

Like I believe is true for each of you reading this: I intend to live live my life relative to my highest intention, my highest good.

When I think about where I am now, knowing that exit portals can present at any time, I am deciding, with every available breath I can take, to really let go of it all. It will make my continued living in matter and the leaving of matter so much easier.

So, I encourage you to dream the dream you want… no longer holding on to what I recently heard myself describe to another as delayed dreams… and let go of any attachment to how your life all unfolds. Forget the dastardly ‘how’. Live and evolve by intention. That is the direction I am decidedly taking for mySelf within my own Self-defined boundaries to live a life of ho’o pono pono… making right, right in mySelf.

Thanks for reading.

Sheila