I think about all the times, I sat at tables of executive boards, hashing out solutions to problems and ideas, yet fearful that I’d be found ‘wrong’ in my thinking. So, I’d stay silent, giving space for each person to speak up. And, in the end, I would finally pick up my courage and bring a solution home, still questioning what I had synthesized from all of the positions put forth, next to my own, often unexpressed. 

So, there I was in a class of 55. I had four days to digest the learning. I was excited to learn yet felt unsure about getting it right. Would I ever grok what the trainer was sharing about how it ‘should’ feel under my hands when my hands were on a body? I just wanted to get it right. How many of you who are healers and coaches have been in that place?

A straight forward, simple, congruent NO is a full and complete statement. Nothing more to say.

Except that, in so many instances, women won’t let themselves declare it, much less own it without suffering the gift that keeps on giving: guilt. That feeling of guilt becomes so pervasive, that, of course, we would do anything to avoid feeling it. 

The following email was written to a client in response to her own continuing journey of seeking to live a life of joy, even when shit is hitting the fan. Like so many women, I believe she has been in that search for a very long time with the always-looming question, “If my life is so good, then why am I feeling so empty? If I have everything I need, then I have no right to feel the way I do. I lack for nothing, yet something is missing.” OR, my favourite, “my time is running out; I have to get on with it!”

25 years ago, I was studying advanced levels of Cranial-Sacral Therapy and Somato Emotional Release. During that time, I was gifted to see a video of Vietnam veterans both before and after individual multi-hands sessions that were intended to move the deeply stored energies in their bodies related to their horrific experiences of war. This project of multi-hands sessions, conceived by the Upledger Institute in Florida, were intended to help heal and restore these veterans to lives of joy. Several Vietnam vets and one nurse who had served there took part. These individuals had seen and experienced the worst of atrocities overseas. On their return home to the USA, they did not experience a hero’s welcome from the general populace. After years of feeling lost and dejected, out of work, addicted and hopeless, they were invited to an opportunity for hands-on healing. A life-changing experience.